Thursday, September 30, 2010

Splenda Dancing woes Crappy weather One crutch wonder

Ok, before I do anything, I HAVE to rant. Within the past couple of days, I have had a million and one people tell me about how certain things are bad for me. Example number one: Splenda. As I said on someone's blog, I think this is plain old bullshit. People read things on the internet and believe them within a heartbeat. Splenda is bad for you. Okay and being fat is good for you? If we are going to eliminate all the things that are thought to be bad for us, we would have to die. Literally. We can't go outside because our ozone layers are depleting and there's crap coming out of car's exhaust pipes. And, quite honestly, we can't stay inside, because being indoors too much is bad for your health (no "fresh" air) and your wooden furniture is known to have a percentage of formaldehyde, a carcinogen. So what do we do? Make ourselves a bubble? Oh wait, that would kill us because we would eventually run out of oxygen and start breathing carbon dioxide.
Here's the truth on Splenda. There was a study where rats were given an amount of Splenda in one month that is equivalent to a person having 5000 packets of Splenda in one month. First of all, that amount of table salt in one month will almost definitely kill you. So the study is kind of absurd. I'm a huge Splenda supporter and like everything made on Splenda, but even I don't consume that much of it. What's more is that, while the table salt would've most probably killed them, nothing happened to the rats! There was a small amount of evidence that they had a decreased thymus but they couldn't even prove that.
Then there are these terrifying pictures of reactions that people have gotten from Splenda. Rashes, spots, etc. Funny. I had that same reaction when I was eight years old and my uncle's furry white cat wouldn't get out of my face. It's called an allergy. And allergies can be oh-so-specific, because I have been around other cats with no problems and I own a dog. But come in contact with a long-haired white cat and I'm Ms. Blotchy Face. If you have a bad reaction to Splenda, it sucks. And I'm sorry. But for everyone else? Either live in a bubble (which we already saw will kill you anyway) or relax! I know there will be someone out there that gets upset and says "Well then, why don't we all just smoke cigarettes, shoot heroin and eat dirt?" That argument is  called a slippery slope and in logic, it is considered to be invalid. I don't suggest that you do things that are bad for everyone, but Splenda? Really?


That's for anyone that stopped reading because they didn't agree with me or got upset by what I was saying or just got tired of my ranting. The rest of my post will say nothing about Splenda, I swear. So, I asked my physical therapist yesterday when she thought I would be able to dance. She said it's going to be at least 3 months, which honestly broke my heart. I haven't danced since the end of June and it's driving me nuts. Dancing became my favorite thing to do last semester and being completely cut off from it is like being cut off from a drug. But the good news is that by the time I go back to my real school (I'm at my hometown college right now, while I'm recovering), I should be dancing.

Walking, however, is a different story. Just a week or so since I started using crutches, I am now using a crutch (singular!). Honestly, I'm hardly even using that crutch. For all intents and purposes, I am walking. Wahoo! Tomorrow, when I go to my physical therapist, I am going to try walking without the crutch completely. I need to wean myself off of it. I cannot wait. Hopefully, when I go to the movies tomorrow, I can go without a crutch. It's unlikely, but it is a possibility. If not, my mom is getting me a cane, so I will have graduated once more! This is good news. But for today, I am a one crutch wonder. Things are moving so quickly and so slowly at the same time. It's hard to wrap my head around the fact that I haven't walked in months.

This morning, I woke up at 6:30AM for my chem lab. Last week, I had a terrible experience in my lab because my regular lab partner was absent and my new lab partner was a very sweet girl, but had no clue what she was doing and gave me the wrong data for something, so now I'm stuck in between telling my lab professor that she made a mistake and handing in a lab that is clearly wrong. Moral dilemma. Coupled with that, when I woke up, it was pitch black outside and raining. CRAP. WEATHER. I almost cried. I did not want to get up. But after thinking seriously about not going to my only class of the day, I got off my lazy butt and went. And as miserable as it was to get away from my warm, cozy bed and the episode of Full House on tv, it felt kind of good to get through the three and a half hours.  I figured out what's so bad about the fall semester. You always have the most energy at the beginning of the semester. Spring semester, the days get longer and so you have motivation to get up in the morning even when your beginning energy is escaping you. Fall semester, the days get shorter and so I have less and less motivation to get up.

Anyway, my old lab partner was back (thank goodness), so it was much, much easier for me and we finished pretty early. I got an 8.5/10 on my first lab, a 10/10 on my second lab and a 5.5/10 on my quiz. That last one is bad. But in my defense, I saw far too many 2's and 3's and hardly any 6's, 7's or 8's. So I'm fairly sure that I did as well as the average, which is by no means what I strive for, but is better than being below average.

That's about all for today. I'm going to take my measurements at some point and post them up here. Hope everyone's having some good weight loss weeks :)

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Homework Stairs Dancing Pizza Burn & NEED HELP

So, this morning I woke up with the intention of doing chemistry. Did I do chemistry? Of course not. Am I doing chemistry now? Nope. I have an exam next week, but I'm thinking that I'll do some work Wednesday night since my recitation is on Thursday and then do the majority of my work Thursday night when I don't have to worry about legitimate things due the next day, because my first class ends on Thursday before 12 and my second class is cancelled. So, that's the plan. I also plan to get over a 90 on this exam. Good luck to me?
Currently, I'm watching Dancing With the Stars and wanting with all my might to just get up and show the stars how it's done. Unfortunately, I have yet to take a step without my crutches. Maybe I'll do it at my physical therapist's tomorrow. We'll see what happens. I will definitely update.
TODAY I walked down the stairs at school! Walk is relative, because I did it on crutches but still! That is the first time I walked down the stairs on crutches and it felt so so so good to not have to use the ramp. I was terrified but I said to myself "You can't be afraid" and I just went down. And I was fine. I was better than fine. I was awesome!
So, I was watching Dancing With the Stars and eating my homemade mini pizza and I got pizza burn. It makes me so angry, because if I had just waited a few more minutes, the roof of my mouth would not be radiating and burning right now. As it is, here I am, with pizza burn. Bahhh humbug.
Now, here's for the HELP part. I wanted to know if anyone has used any of these products for the Wii and if you would let me know if they're any good/helped you lose weight. Here goes...

1) Gold's Gym Dance Workout
2) Just Dance
3) Walk It Out
4) Gold's Gym Cardio Workout
5) Dance on Broadway
6) Dancing with the Stars We Dance
7) We Cheer 2

Monday, September 27, 2010

Paranoia 204 & A Doctor's Visit

I absolutely could not wait to get home and blog today! So, the day started off kind of bleh. I woke up and it was raining, so I chickened out of going to my chemistry class, which was stupid because I had to go to my sociology class later to hand in my paper anyway. But I was scared, because I'm on crutches and those can get slippery in the rain. So, I stayed home, did chemistry, ate a proper breakfast and watched "Dear John" which was cute the second time over.

I've realized that I'm pretty paranoid. I'm afraid to walk on crutches in the rain, afraid that my sociology paper is crap, afraid of my orthopedic doctor, afraid of getting on the scale. I'm slowly trying to be less paranoid, but I kind of am. I don't know what it is, but I'm scared of everything and it's totally irrational. I might say that it's my love for my life and my need to protect it, but maybe it's just fear. And fear is exactly what stops people from living life.

But, anyway, moving on. I went to physical therapy, which was fine, but pretty boring. Then, I went to school. I was super super careful going up the stairs and getting to class, because the floor was kind of wet, but I managed to get out of it without falling or even slipping. I got to class and talked to this boy who was also early and he was really sweet. Then, I went to class and found out that some people hadn't done the paper I was so terrified to hand in and almost everyone thought that it was an incredibly vague prompt, so I'm not too scared anymore. I may  not get an A, but I don't think I'll fail. Which is, you know, good.

In the morning, I got on the scale and I had a loss of 1 lb, which is ok. Considering the fact that I still can't really exercise AND I got my monthly gift this week, a loss of 1 lb. isn't so bad, right? Plus, it hasn't been a whole week, just 5 days. So I now weigh 204 lbs.

Then I went to my doctor and here was what happened. HE TOLD ME I'M ALLOWED TO START TRYING TO WALK. I am beyond excited, because this means that I am one step closer to walking and dancing. So, overall, a really good day. Now I'm watching Charmed, reading for school and getting ready for Dancing with the Stars! Woohoooo! How is everyone?!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Balloons, Showers, Walking & Jewish Sunday School

This morning, I went to work for the first time since the summer ended and I had to start going to school. Because of my non-walking, I was really nervous because one of my jobs at the Y is working with little kids and they can be rowdy. The morning started out with a staff meeting that turned into us doing odd jobs that the director, I guess, forgot to do? My best friend, her cousin and I were blowing up balloons with a helium tank, tying them and tying them onto strings. I tied 80 balloons today. I actually have a cut on my middle finger from all the friction, lol! What I do for work.
So then, the kids came and we played black magic and snaps with them. These are both games where we get to confuse them and pretend like we have telepathic connections. They were very confused and it was great. Then, we all went off into our separate groups. My best friend and I are the drama teacheres and today, we did the story of Jonah and the Whale. The best group was the middle group (there's 5-6 then 7,8, then 9-13 I think). I'm used to working with kids that age and they're the easiest because they have attention spans, but they're still very easily amused. The younger kids have no attention spans and the older kids aren't amused by anything except me making a damned fool out of myself (which I did, of course). It was a cute day, overall.
Then I finally went and ate my breakfast in the office and "worked" but really, I was mostly talking to the intern I'm in charge of. It's weird, because I'm 19 and she's 27, but it's still kind of cool. It is getting A LOT easier for me to walk. It's still a little hard on my hands (I'm using crutches) and the foot that I'm putting the most weight on, but I must say it really is getting easier.
When I came home, I passed the heck out. I was so exhausted. This is bad, because I won't get to sleep later tonight for awhile, but it is what it is. When I gotta nap, I gotta nap. After that, I got up and finished my paper. My friend says it's a good paper. I don't know, I think it's pretty crap, but then again, my professor's writing prompt was pretty crap, so it's no surprise. Then....I took a shower! A full one. My full bathroom is upstairs so I've had to sponge bathe myself for the past 2 months. Today, I took a real shower. I spent an hour in there just sitting under the water, lol. It was great. I had to use one of those old lady shower chairs, but I didn't care. It was so nice. AND I washed my own hair for the first time in months. Wonderful. Such a great accomplishment.
Then I had a small dinner, did some chemistry and now I'm watching That 70's Show. Off to look at everyone's blogs. Hope all had a good day :D

Oh! Also, I forgot to weigh myself this morning, so tomorrow morning, I will definitely do it.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Jeans, Cramps & Gazpacho

So, this morning I got up, with the goal to go to the best market in my town with my parents and get some food for the house. But the first thing that my happened was that I got my monthly gift. This is both good and bad. The good thing is that I get to stop being overly emotional and crying while watching the Sex and the City movie, of all things. The bad thing is that it means that my cramps are back. I get killer cramps. I know a lot of people do and that I'm not alone, but my cramps are wicked. Up until I broke my ankle, I was pretty good about exercising and so my cramps had eased up a bit because of all the endorphins. And even if I hadn't exercised for awhile, I would go to exercise when I got my gift and the endorphins would make it feel all better. Because of my recovering fractured ankle, I can't do much cardio, so I'm stuck stretching my abdomen and taking Tylenol.

Also, this morning, I put on my Levi's skinny jeans. I have not put on jeans since I fractured my ankle and had a cast on in the beginning of July and up till then, jeans were all I wore. I never wore sweatpants and suddenly, I found myself in sweatpants all the time. Putting on jeans was an amazing feeling. The size 15's still fit me, about 5 pounds later, which isn't a shock, but I do wish that 5 pounds would make me go down a size.

So, we went to the market and I opted to go in my wheelchair, because between cramps and laziness, I couldn't force myself to be on crutches for an hour. At the market, they had samples of SoCo ice cream ( The best ones were ginger and chocolate. The funny thing is that the second I put the ice cream in my mouth, my cramps suddenly disappeared for ten minutes. It was great. Ice cream is magical, apparently. We also got a whole bunch of other stuff. I saw a deal on pineapples. 2 for $5. I love pineapple, so for me, this was like finding buried treasure.

I also found dark chocolate with hazelnuts that only has 6g of sugar for two squares. It's not sugar free or anything obviously, but it's so good. ( It's made in France, it tastes delicious and it's not all that bad for you. It's a combination I think only the French with their fresh produce can accomplish. But, anyway, I came home and now I'm stretching my abdomen, eating Gazpacho (yum!) and watching old episodes of Sex and the City. Last night was very productive for me. I did some stuff for work, I did all the research for my paper (now I just have to put it in order and actually write it) and I posted in that writing thing that I do with my friends. 

One last thing is that I decided my weigh-in day will be Sunday. Since I'm going to be working 7 hours on Sundays, it is the day that I am most likely to overeat. If I weigh myself in the morning, I'm hoping it'll remind me not to overeat. So, that's that! Hope everyone is having a good day.

Friday, September 24, 2010

NSV: Non-Scale Victories

So, last night and this morning I had two pretty awesome victories. Neither of them are weight related, but they're still victories for me. So, the first thing that happened is that last night, at around 4:30 in the morning, I was on the phone with my best friend and I realized that I couldn't remember which ankle was broken. Rather, of course, I knew it was the left one but feeling-wise, neither one of them hurt and I forgot which one I can just drop on the bed, instead of carefully laying down. I forgot which leg was supposed to go on top when I lay down on my side, too. Now, either this was my brain saying "Rachel, go to sleep. You can't even tell which one of your ankles was fractured" or a sign that I'm finally getting better.
Then, this morning.....I shaved. Ok, now this may not be a huge accomplishment for any of you. And if I hadn't fractured my ankle, it would be a quite mundane action for me too. But while my ankle was fractured and in a cast, I didn't really shave. And I didn't have time to when I got it taken off. And I was getting quite embarrassed going to my physical therapist's office with a hairy leg. So I shaved. Woohooo! These are all signs that I'm getting better and I'm that much closer to getting back to normal, dancing and exercising!
That's all for now. I'm going to my physical therapist's today at 3 and then I have an appointment to get my nails done at 5:45. Somewhere in between, I have to actually do work for school. I've got a paper due Monday that I haven't even researched for yet. Uh-oh = /

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Weight Loss Survey

I can't remember where I found this, but if I can figure it out, I will definitely give credit where it's due!

1. What types of food are you most likely to overeat?
Snack foods. It's not that I'm likely to sit down and overeat a certain food. It's more that I'll go into my kitchen, eat a small snack and then eat a whole bunch of other snacks. And this happens at night. Usually late at night. Ever since my fractured ankle, I've had to sleep downstairs, where going into the kitchen is just too easy. When I was upstairs, I could at least stop myself from going all the way down the stairs. It's also a problem that the kitchen is on the way to the first floor bathroom. So if I get up to go to the bathroom, I will snack.

2. What times of day do you overeat most often?
At night

3. What feelings are you having most often when you overeat?
Guilt. Incredible amounts of guilt. Before I'm eating, while I'm eating, after I eat. But these incredible amounts of guilt don't make me stop eating.

4. Do you think you have a binge eating disorder?
No. I mean, I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, so I think I have everything. But since I'm rationalizing, these bouts of eating don't happen too often. And even while I'm overeating, I'm consciously eating string cheese and 100 calorie bars instead of chocolate and cookies.

5. What circumstances in your life do you believe contributed to your weight gain?
I have trouble dealing with emotions. It wasn't always a problem, but it's really turned into one. My dad told me once that I cry too much. And I took it too much to heart and stopped crying in front of my dad or anyone else that might judge me for it. I mean, I fractured my ankle in two places and didn't shed a tear because I was too embarrassed. And I didn't cry about my entire summer being ruined for a long time. And when I did cry, it wasn't in front of people. It was in my bed, in the dead of night. There are certain people that I tell certain things to, but I don't bare all or even half to a person or even a collective group of people. I don't trust anyone that much. The hilarious part is that my friends think I'm emotional from what I tell them. Little do they know, I'm actually insane!
Anyway, how this contributes to my weight gain? I think I literally eat to keep my mouth shut. If I have food in my mouth, I'm not being a babbling brook.

6. Do you 'blame' anyone for your weight?
Oh, I love to blame people. But I'm slowly learning that my brother going to Iraq is not an excuse to begin gaining weight. And neither is a single sentence that my dad uttered to me. It's simple. Whatever I did, I did it to myself. There's no one to blame and I don't blame myself either. It's something that happened. And now it's something that has to be taken care of.

7. What other behaviors mademake you overweight?
Up until recently, I have had very little willpower. That and I have had this belief that I have 'bad luck' and that no matter what I do, my luck will not change. This could have been solidified ten weeks ago when, after I was well on my way to losing weight (I had already lost about ten pounds), I fractured my ankle after missing a step on stairs that I had gone down a million times and was put on bed rest. But instead, I've used this experience to formulate a very different opinion. I think that life tests us to see how much strength we have and that we make our own luck. And as I'm going through physical therapy and trying to recover, I'm learning that I have more strength than anyone I know.

8. Were you active or exercising while you gained weight?
For most of it, I was kind of active, but I didn't exercise.

9. What made you finally want to change?
I've learned that everyone makes their own luck and that everything else is just a stone in the road. So screw it. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger. And although I'm on crutches and seem kind of pathetic at times, I am stronger than I have ever been before.

let's start from the very beginning, a very good place to start

Hey there! If you've read my about me, you know that I'm Raych. I'm a 19 year old girl, a full-time student, an actress, a singer and a ballroom dancer. I'm studying to become a doctor, but I'm majoring in PPL, which is philosophy, politics and law.
I fractured my ankle this summer and about 10 weeks later, I am out of my wheelchair and on crutches, in a big ugly boot. I can't do much cardio yet. I can't even walk. Although, lugging around 205 pounds on crutches is seriously no easy feat. I get some exercise from that. I cannot wait to walk again and I especially cannot wait to dance. This semester, I am at a different school from the one that I usually attend. Most of the time, I'm away at a school in upstate New York, but for now, I'm in my hometown, utilizing the help of my friends and family.
Some about my personality. I am always after mutually exclusive things. I always want to go to sleep late and wake up early. I want to eat junk food and I want to lose weight. I want a boyfriend, but I like the benefits of being single. I don't believe in black and white. Everything is a grey area.
I love movies and books. I do a lot of writing, but it's mostly in a group setting with a couple of my friends. We all get on a computer and try to come up with something together. It's a lot of fun and at some point in my life, I wanted to make a profession out of it. But I've realized that it's just a hobby and that I really want to be a pediatrician, possibly a pediatric surgeon. I've got pretty steady hands, so I guess that's a plus, right?
Anyway, I'm hoping to start following a bunch of people and hopefully get inspired. I watch The Biggest Loser but that's once a week and as much as I love it, what they do on there, in the amount of time that they do it, is just not realistic for me. I have school, a job, friends and responsibilities. Unfortunately, I don't live on a ranch and I don't have a 100 pounds to lose, so I don't think I'd be accepted onto the ranch.
Anyway, that's about all. I'm sure if you follow me you'll find out much more of what there is to know about me. I hope that I can get inspired and that I can inspire someone and most importantly, I hope to definitely lose weight! Goals to come later :)