Monday, December 12, 2011

Stressed

I know I haven't posted in a ridiculous amount of time, almost a half a year. But I think I need to blog again. Finals week has me stressed beyond belief and I had a breakdown in the library today. I started crying over my GPA (a 3.34 to keep me honest). Well, I saw my GPA and got really upset. Then my dance partner and one of my best friends (we'll call him G from here on out) tried to make me laugh and spilled Diet Coke on my jeans, which normally wouldn't upset me, except I just started crying and couldn't stop to do my work. Eventually, he calmed me down and pinky promised that I would get into a good law school. Let's hope he can keep up his end of the deal.

I haven't been able to exercise or eat right for the past week or so and I honestly haven't been trying, because I'm pretty okay where I am. I'm at 172.8, which is the thinnest I've been and I feel fine. However, "pretty okay" hasn't been cutting it lately. So once finals week is over and I'm back home, I'm back on track. I actually feel really excited and motivated--I just need to get through this week.

Good News
I fit into size 8 jeans. I mean, it's not pretty. I have a muffin top and it's just unattractive. But they technically fit and they even close. So that's a huge accomplishment. I fit into a size 10 normally, now, in American Eagle jeans, which I used to not be able to wear. I bought a pair of size 8's from AE just because I wanted to make sure I fit into them soon. And I think I will.
I'll try to update more before the end of this week, but no promises. My finals are giving me a headache and they're awful. But I will definitely try! If not, after my last final it is!

Friday, July 15, 2011

I Keep Eating...

I keep eating. And I think it's because I'm bored. I need to start taking dance classes and filling up my evenings with interesting things. Otherwise, I will eat. I don't eat enough to make me gain any weight. But I'm eating just enough that I'm maintaining now. Which is...you know, good, if I want to be chubby forever.

I think I'll go to a dance class in the city tomorrow. I'm just going to keep myself busy so I don't eat. I'm also going to get tons of books from the library. Because if I'm reading...I'm not eating.

I'm also going to set some very short-term goals, just for the rest of the month of July.

Goals
1. Lose 4 pounds, getting me back to 173.
2. Go on a twenty minute walk every single day, no matter when or where or how.
3. Make healthier choices with food, starting by eating more fiber.
4. Take dance or Zumba classes, do a workout video or run 10 times before the month is over.

We'll see where I am August 1st. Let's hope I am in a better place than now, because I feel a bit as if I'm slacking. I'm not gaining, which is great. But my goal of 160 before I go back to school is starting to seem unreachable. So let's step on the gas here.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

A Day With the Family

Today was an awesome day. I woke up in the morning, had a small breakfast and drove to New Jersey with my parents. We went to this park where there were a bunch of deer inside of this huge field that was fenced in. It was like a forest inside of a gate. And we were allowed to feed the deer, which was super cool! They were so adorable. My year and a half old nephew fed them and he practically had his fingers in their mouths. They were so friendly and adorable, though!

We also saw some goats, a gigantic turkey, some bunnies and some chickens. After that, we walked around for a bit and saw this adorable little duck that had a bad leg and a limp. I felt so horrible. My nephew wanted to play with it and before we could do anything, he ran up to it, scaring the duck and forcing him to fly. Ducks don't fly all that high, though, so the poor thing flew directly into a fence. I felt so horrible. We tried to find someone to inform of the situation, but no one was around so we decided it was best to leave the poor thing alone and not bother it.

After that, we went to an Italian restaurant, which for a girl on a diet, probably isn't the best. But we did a family style thing, so I had a bit of calamari, a whole bunch of salad, about a serving of garlic pasta and a cannoli. Overall, not so bad. But the whole calorie counting thing did not work out. Tomorrow, I have work at 8AM and it's Crazy Hair Day! That should be fun and it'll be much easier to count every single calorie that goes into my mouth.

I'm thinking of getting a Fitbit. Anyone tried one of those? How are they???A

182

Okay, what the hell? Somehow, this morning, after a day of running and dancing yesterday, I get on the scale and I am 182. That's unacceptable. That's a full 10 pounds more than my lowest weight. I thought I was doing alright with maintaining. Clearly, I am not. I'm trying not to get too upset because all that this means is that I need to start counting calories meticulously again.

My journey is, quite obviously, not over yet. Because, if it were, I would be able to stick to the 172 that I had. I can't see the difference on myself. I don't feel 10 pounds heavier. Buuuuut, I am. So, no excuses. 1200 calories a day, 3 workouts a week. Done. I'm here to lose weight, not to lose a bunch and then gain some back.

I'm taking my nephew to the zoo today. So that means that there will be food all around to tempt me. And I will not give in to any of it. I know what I have to do and I'm just going to do it. Because being thin and being healthy are my most important goals right now.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

11 Layers of Me!

Found at http://gettingnshape.blogspot.com/


LAYER ONE: On the Outside--

Full Name: Rachel
Birthday: September 12th
School: 3rd year of college coming up!

Major: PPL- Philosophy, Politics and Law. Hopefully going for a dual degree: masters in social work and a law degree.
Current Location: New York City!
Eye Color: Hazel
Hair Color: At the moment...dark brown with a tint of red. Thinking of going back to black or light brown. Original hair color was black.
Righty or Lefty: Righty!
Zodiac Sign: Virgo

LAYER TWO: On the Inside

Your Heritage: Uhh, Russian/Azerbaijani/Jewish/Latvian/Lithunian, etc..
Your Fears: I don't really have phobias. I'm a little paranoid, I guess.
Weakness: Chocolate.
Goal(s): Oh so many. I want to become a lawyer that uses her social work degree. I want to be 140 lbs. I want to graduate college. I want to have abs. There's a lot I want.
Relieve Stress: Ballroom, all the way.

LAYER THREE: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow--

Your thoughts first waking up: Usually.."I need to pee.."
Your bedtime: I don't have one. I've become a morning person, so it doesn't really matter. I love getting up.
Your most missed memory: Right now? Ballroom dance. It's not a memory, persay, because I could still be doing it and I'm going back in September. I'm just taking a short hiatus because my partner lives far from me. I'll be taking lessons by myself next week, but it's just not the same.

LAYER FOUR: You’re picking--

Pepsi or Coke: DIET coke =]
McDonald's or Burger King: Neither, please.
Single or Group dates:Hang out with a big group, then go hang out alone!
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Nestea.
Chocolate or Vanilla:Chocolate. Mm.
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee.

LAYER FIVE: Do You--

Do Drugs: Nope.
Think you've been in love: No.
Want to get married: One day, yeah.
Believe in yourself: Definitely.

LAYER SIX: In the Past Month--

Drank alcohol: Yes
Gone to the mall: Nope
Eaten Sushi: Yes, lol
Gone skating: No
Colored your hair: No
Done something exciting: Yes

LAYER SEVEN: Have You Ever?--

Changed who you were to fit in: Sure, who hasn't?
Hid something from someone: Yup.


LAYER EIGHT: Getting Old--
Age you're hoping to get married: 24-26? Seems like an okay age. Maybe a bit older. Really whenever I'm ready.
Age you're hoping to have children: 27-29
Want to travel to: Oh gosh, everywhere. South Africa, everywhere in Europe that I haven't been yet, India, New Zealand, Australia, all over the US, South America. I just want to see everything.

LAYER NINE: Perfect Mate--
Best Eye Color: Blue, but I don't really care.
Best Hair Color: Black hair, blue eyes is a perfect combo. But again...I really don't care. Blonde hair, brown hair and brown eyes is all good too. I'm not picky to a fault.
Short or Long Hair: Medium-length!

LAYER TEN: What were you doing--

5 MINUTES AGO: Reading blogs
1 HOUR AGO: Sitting in a car with my co-workers being driven home.
1 DAY AGO: Getting drunk, lol.
1 YEAR AGO: Well, 5 days from now one year ago, I'd be waiting to find out that my ankle was broken. But what was I doing on July 7th last year? I'm not sure. Probably nothing too special. Working.

LAYER ELEVEN: Finish the Sentence--

I Love: life and all it's oddities.
I Feel: exhausted, but happy.
I Hate: people that are mean; easy.
I Hide: my real emotions even when I trust people.
I Miss: ballroom and school.
I Need: to work out tomorrow and be a little healthier with my eating.

Feel free to copy and repost. 

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

ZUMBA!!!!

So, this morning, I woke up at 5:30AM as per usual, got up and decided to walk 1/3 of the way to work. I would've worked more, but honestly, I had no time. The day was pretty good. Unfortunately, I haven't been getting the chance to pack lunches for myself, so I had cheese fries in the meantime. Unnecessary, definitely a mistake, but that's alright -- everyone makes them. For breakfast, I had a small iced coffee with skim milk and splenda and a dunkin donuts veggie egg white flatbread. For a snack, in between breakfast and "lunch" I had a peach. Then, for a snack I had a box of apple juice and a 100 calorie pack of Lorna Doone cookies. Then for dinner, I had a veggie delight Subway sandwich. Pretty good day overall. I walked over a mile on the way back from work. Again, about 1/3, maybe a little more, of the way.

After that, I bought a really cute outfit for Eightie's Day, said hi to my parents, who came home today from Austria and ran off to a Zumba class. It was awesome. Zumba is great-- My Zumba instructor is leaving for a week to go to a convention in Florida, but she has promised to send me Facebook reminders to stop munching and start jogging. Gotta love her. She's got tons of energy and picks awesome music for her class.

After class, I walked 12 blocks home. On the way there, I ran 3 blocks and then walked 9 but on the way back, I just had no energy so I was speed walking. Working a 9-10 hour day and then running around will do that to you. Plus working in a camp is no desk job ... which is why I love it =] I'm a little stressed about some things to do with work, mostly because I'm fighting with the best friend. But it is what it is. I am past the point in life where I apologize when I don't mean it or when I don't think I've done anything wrong. So we'll see where this goes. Hopefully we can forgive each other soon, because I'm not in town for all that long and it's silly to spend it fighting.

Tomorrow's more of the same but no Zumba! I'm going to go running after work and then maybe do some kind of yoga class -- we'll see what I'm up for. Since I don't party all too much when I'm in Brooklyn, I've gotta fill up my extra time with something. And I guess it'll be exercise. Sweet deal, huh? =]

Sunday, July 3, 2011

I'm Normal...So Now What?

A lot has happened in the past couple of months that I have not blogged. Why haven't I blogged? Well...Truth is, I got too comfortable. I won't go too into detail, mostly because it's not interesting and also pretty irrelevant. But here's what IS important.

I went to the doctor a week ago because I had a bit of a sore throat and my best friend had strep throat so I was a little worried. Turns out, I was perfectly healthy minus a bit of a throat infection that I was prescribed Sudafed for (and I didn't even end up taking it because I don't like to take drugs unless I absolutely have to). My WBC was a 7.5, which is literally the average. I tested negative for strep throat, the rest of my bloodwork was perfect and so was everything else.

What was better? My doctor asked me how much I weighed and I told him about 175, because that was the last time I checked on my new scale. He took me through a whole long speech, which ended in "You are normal. You do not need to lose any more weight. Considering your height, your build and your family history, you're doing really great." That was amazing to hear. I'm unfortunately up to 177 for some reason, but that all brings me to the reason I'm back here again and brings me to my blog title.."So Now What?"

I am normal, but I am still not happy with how I look. I am definitely happier. And I am definitely proud of all the progress I've made. 40-45 pounds is a ton of weight to lose, especially for someone who is 5'8"! But I am not done yet. I'd still like to get into the 140's or at least the 150's. I'd also like to have more toning, less fat. And I'd like to just be more healthy overall -- because as much as I've learned, I still make way too many mistakes when it comes to food.

Blogging really helped me lose the beginning of the weight, but when I found my bearings, I kind of just gave up on it. I still have my bearings (for the most part), but I realize now that I have a lot left to learn. So, for about a week, I'm going to post up everything that I eat without counting calories, to see if that helps. If not, back to the tedious annoyance that counting calories is. If I have to do it, I will. But let's hope that I've learned enough that simply watching what I eat (something that I haven't doe too much of) and writing it all down (something that I haven't done any of) will suffice to lose those pesky 20-30 pounds.

I've been getting a lot of compliments on how I look. My family is proud, my boss calls me "Skinny Rachel" and I'm working on a whole new wardrobe that is more daring and fun. I will share some of the clothes that I bought (maybe tomorrow or the day after) on this blog in picture mode! I hope that you guys will welcome me back.

Here's a picture of me from my recent Europe trip:

I was in Heidelberg, Germany! I think that's a fair representation of how I look now. Arms and legs are still a little chubby, face looks pretty different, smaller all around, still kinda chubbsy -- but a huge improvement from my last Europe trip ....

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Competition Results and Updates

First of all, competition results!

Reverse Role American Rumba: 5th place [I had to be a boy and my partner had to be the girl. It was....interesting lol]
Bronze International Cha Cha: 4th Place
Bronze American Cha Cha: 4th Place
Bronze American Rumba: 3rd Place
Bronze International Rumba: 4th Place
Bronze American Swing: 4th Place
Silver American Swing: 7th Place
Bronze International Jive: 1st place!!! (What I was most proud of, obviously. We worked really hard. This is the "cardio" dance, so that's really saying something!)

I'm really happy with how we did, overall. It was a small competition, but the accomplishments were big and my partner and I both feel like we can do really well and go really far now, which is great.


Updates
Well, there's nothing much to update on. My weight has not changed at all. I'm going to weigh in again next Monday morning and hope for a loss. One update: I can no longer sit on my ass. And I mean this quite literally. My ankle was really hurting yesterday and I didn't understand why, until I thought about what I had been doing differently. I realized that on Sunday and Monday, I had been sitting on my butt, not exercising and not dancing. I was giving myself a break. My body/my ankle did NOT like that. At all. I don't have a choice but to work out or dance now. I have to move. Because otherwise my ankle gets stiff. Last night, I danced for 2 hours and then stretched and massaged my ankle for hours and it didn't feel any better. But then I slept it off and this morning, after all that stretching and dancing, I felt much better. Off to read some blogs/do some work/eat an orange.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Quick Update

It's beautiful today, which is shocking, because it was absolutely disgusting last night. It was raining so hard that, when I went outside, I had to literally tiptoe in order to avoid stepping on an earthworm. Bleh.
But it's a new day and it's absolutely gorgeous. It's almost summer heat and I love being upstate in the summer heat. So much nicer than being in the city. Everything smells good and the air is perfect to breathe.

So far, I've had a string cheese and a coffee, bringing me to about 100 calories. It wasn't a good breakfast, but right now, things are hard, because of Passover. There's a lot that I can't eat. It's over tonight, though, so I'm looking forward to that!

I'm going for lunch with a very good friend that I haven't seen in a bit and then I'm going for a run to celebrate/enjoy the gorgeous weather. I'm going to do Week 1, Day 2 of the C25K program and then I might do some work at the gym, depending on where I end up. I'm also dancing for 2 hours later tonight, so that's going to be fun!

I'm feeling awesome today, despite my unfortunate lack of sleep from last night. My friend Danny slept over and we talked for two hours before we went to sleep. He's quite the talker, as am I, which leads to very little sleep. I was so exhausted by the end of our conversation, that I don't even remember what we were talking about and didn't have the energy to look up to see what time it was. But it's all good. I'll feel more energized when this coffee kicks in and after my run/workout!

I will post more tonight, but I didn't blog yesterday, so I'm giving a quick update for now. =]

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Last Night's Blunders, Remodeling & Why Everything Happens for a Reason

Last Night's Blunders
So, last night was an interesting night for me. I ate way too much. I'm talking almost an entire huge bag of chips and other things. I would name everything I ate, except I'm trying to move past it. This morning, I woke up with a full stomach and I HATED it. It was absolutely awful. I was sleeping over my best friend's house, so I left in a rush and walked for about 2 miles. I felt disgusting and even though I feel better now, I'm still shuddering from the thought of it. I don't know what got into me.

Whatever it was that got into me, it's over now. Before, if I ate too much of the wrong thing, I mentally felt bad for myself. But I didn't feel bad physically. But this morning, I almost puked. I felt horrible. And I don't have any kind of lapband or anything like that. I just can't handle bad food anymore. So I'm done with it! It doesn't taste good enough for the mental and physical aftermath! It just DOESN'T. So I walked 2 miles, I'm going to go for a run, shower and then walk to the Century 21 to buy some stuff.

I plan on buying myself clothes that fit and I also plan on purchasing a pair of size 8 jeans and a small shirt for later. Because I plan on being those sizes and I plan on being them soon.

Remodeling
Here are my plans:
1) Literally remodel my blog. I want different colors, a new banner and maybe even a new theme. Weight loss, still, of course. But I want to keep this blog after I'm done with the weight loss, so we'll see what I come up with. It'll have to be something that still highlights weight loss. I'm also going to add in a question of the day, because I want to get to know the people who read my blog!
2) Remodel my plan a little bit. I'm going to try to eat 1200-1400 calories per day, even though it's hard to count calories at school. I'm going to try to eat salads and sandwiches, not the food that they prepare. I'll have omelettes, salads, sandwiches and the not-so-great frozen food if I have to. I only have a few weeks left. I can do this. After that, I'm home and Fairway is calling my name to buy all the healthy food that I want!! And then next year, I'm living in an apartment and cooking for myself. So, BAM!!
3) Drink more liquids. 95 oz. a day, at least. End of. 15g x My Weight (I put 175 just to be sure that my scale isn't telling lies) = 93.2 oz or something like that. So I rounded up. Allan, at almostgastricbypass2.blogspot.com always stressed this and it worked, so I have no clue why I stopped.
~~No more funny business. I'm going to finish this weight loss business and I'm going to finish STRONG~~

Why Everything Happens For a Reason
Now here is why everything happens for a reason. Last night, I was laying in bed, trying to fall asleep and worrying sick about my ankle. What if, when I go to my doctor in May, he tells me that something has gone wrong and that I now need surgery? What if I do something to my ankle in Europe? We're getting to almost a year since my accident and it's irrational, but I'm terrified that something bad is going to happen again. I've felt so truly blessed with my life for a few months that I am just scared that something has to happen. But what did I do with those feelings last night? Something that I have never been able to do. Ever. I told myself that whatever happens, happens. I will take it with stride and I will handle it calmly and gracefully, because it is not a life or death situation. Whatever happens is what happens. And I calmed down and fell asleep. I have never been so optimistic. But I feel great.

My partner and I had a conversation and he wants to build muscle while I want to lose weight. By next semester, he'll be ripped and I'll be thin and he'll be throwing me around like a ragdoll...is what I'm hoping for anyway. He's great. And I realized that if I had never broken my ankle...We might not be partners and I might be missing out on the best friendship that I have formed in a very long time. I also may not have been able to focus on dieting and learning about how to do things correctly this summer. So many things happened as a result of my ankle being broken and you know what? I'm glad the thing broke. Everything happens for a reason, if you don't realize it right away. So whatever happens at my doctor's appointment in May is what happens. And I will not worry about it until I have to.

An NSV
This is a huge NSV for me. A lot of people have been telling me lately that I lost weight. I'm not one of those people that pretends I wasn't fat. I was and everyone knows it--it's all over my facebook page, if you look back past this year!! And I'm not ashamed of it. I'm proud. So I don't get offended when people tell me I've lost weight. When my boss saw me, he picked me up with one arm and freaked out that he could pick me up, let alone with one arm. Last night, my bff's dad walked in and said "Wow, it's like there's half of you left." The woman who does my nails and eyebrows told me there's no fat left on my face (a blatant lie of course, but nice nonetheless ha.) It's coming at me from all sides and I love, love, love it. And I can't way to come back to school, from the summer, thin, healthy and STRONG. I just can't wait. =]

Question of the Day: How do you deal with the aftermath of a night of overeating? Do you do something different the next day?

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Passover, Tightrope, Dancing

A few days ago, I realized something about Passover...Not to make this holiday about anything but what it is, but it's kind of convenient for people that want to weight loss. For those of you that don't know, here's the VERY shortened story of Passover. The Jews were leaving Egypt and there was no time to wait for the bread to but they took it with them anyway, which is that funky square cracker that you see sold at some supermarkets- matzah. That's the stuff we eat instead of bread. Along with not being able to bread, we can't eat anything considered "chometz":  like cookies, bagels, muffins, rice, cake, crackers, barley, oats, etc. (Do you see a trend?) Lately, I also discovered I am not allowed to eat peas, corn or any kind of beans. Unfortunately I discovered this while in the middle of a salad filled with chickpeas and had to work around them for the rest of the time.

Anyway, the point is that Passover is convenient because it becomes against my religion to eat most carbs. Yeah, I can eat matzah, which is also not great for you. But there is no way I'll eat as much matzah as I eat cake. And they have those little Passover cookies and cakes that you can eat that un-leavened and I indulge maybe once a Passover but I find them to be mildly insulting. The point is to live like your ancestors, not to cheat. If I can't last 8 days without having all of these items, then we have a serious problem lol. Plus, I'm trying to be a bit more religious lately (Friday night candle lighting and dinners whenever I can swing it, not mixing meat with milk--just got really excited because I found out that fish is not considered meat lol). I don't know exactly what brought it about, but it is what it is.

Today, I spent almost all day on the couch, studying. But then I got up and went to a private dance lesson with this guy Max. It was so great. We worked on my turns, because they are absolutely horrid haha.  But they are getting much better. Then we worked on a dance called the jive and I think it looks much better now that he's given me more technique. I was so happy to dance again. It's all I ever want to do and I hate breaks because they mean that my partner is far, far away in Long Island and it takes me 2 hours and a whole load of cash to get to him, so I never see him and I hardly dance. I don't know what's going to happen over the summer, lol. I'm going to be taking lots of lessons, that's all I've gotta say.

Now to share some wisdom...I've been listening to this song called "Tightrope" all day. The chorus:
Whether you're high or low
(High or low)
Baby whether you're high or low
(High or low)
Tip on the tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
Baby let me see you tightrope
(Tip, tip on it)
And I'm still tippin' on it
I love these lyrics and the whole song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwnefUaKCbc). I'd give it a lesson. It's basically saying how you can't be too afraid to tip the tighrope and how you can't be too high or too low on yourself, I think. I really like it. It's so funky and fun to dance to. =]


Getting back to it

So, clearly, I have not been very good at time management because my blog has not been updated. There is a lot that has happened in my life lately and this is not an excuse. But I'm back to it now, which is I think what matters. The good news is....I did not stop losing weight even though I stopped blogging.

So, let's just weigh in right here.
Starting Weight: 220 lbs.
Last Post's Weight: 188 lbs (or 186, I wasn't sure because I had changed scales)
This Week's Weight: 172.8 lbs
It's not as much as I would have liked to have lost. But I lost 10-15 pounds in 3 months. Not great, but not bad. But I am back to it and I have new goals and many things to reward myself with, hah.

A few things that have changed:

1) I have completely changed goals in life. I no longer want to be a doctor. I realized that medical school was not something that I actually wanted to go through with and that law school was both a lot more bearable and more realistic. Now, don't worry. I'm not selling out. I still want to help people. I just want to do it in a different way.

2) I am a size 11/12 in jeans and usually a medium in dresses and shirts. This hasn't been the case in as long as I can remember. The fact that "the girls" fit into a medium is amazing to me.

3) I have become the most positive, optimistic person I know. After a minor breakdown over a boy and some other things, I have become beyond happy. I'm not sure what exactly made the change, but I'm damn happy that something did. I have motivation and feel I am capable of everything.

4) I have a new ballroom partner. He is an amazing partner and also an absolutely wonderful friend. We are going to our 3rd competition on April 30th and I will definitely be posting to let everyone know how that goes! I am also running for captain of the team, which is a huge position for someone who is only a junior, but I am ready and hope that everyone else thinks so enough to vote for me.

5) Two days ago, I bought my first pair of jean shorts. I mean, first. I have *never* bought myself a pair of jean shorts. I had them when I was younger, but when I started shopping for myself, shorts went out the window. I was too scared. But here I am in them and also a new top I bought, medium, also at Forever 21.


6) My ankle...I have pulled a lot of tricky things. I go running sometimes and I dance for hours on it in heels. So far, everything feels good but I'm going back to the doctor in May and we will see what he says. I feel pain sometimes and I still feel as if I'm held back sometimes. I plan on going back to physical therapy for a little while, just because I don't feel 100% and I want my ankle to be the best that it can be. I still limp in the morning or if I sit for too long, which may be normal, but I'll never know until I ask, so I will keep you posted on that.

7) Just a progress picture. This isn't my favorite photo, but I feel like it's a fair representation of what I look like (there are just some pictures where I look way thinner than I really am and that's not a fair representation)
It's me at my last ballroom competition =]

Monday, January 24, 2011

First few days back at school

I've been having a good first few days back, but my scale tells me that I am now 188, which is unacceptable. I'm thinking that this is a different scale and that I may be 186 or something, but I'm just going to leave it alone and work until I'm back down to 183.2 and start up from there again. It's only fair, since I've switched scales.

This morning, I ate a serving of eggs, a hard boiled egg (no yolk), 1/3 cup of pineapple, 2 squares of melon and some onion potatoes. I drank 16 oz. of water and then 16 oz. of coffee with soy milk. So far, so good. I plan on having a snack at around 2:30, then dinner at around 6-ish. My snack will most likely be a banana with a tablespoon of yummy peanut butter.

Today, I had biology from 10:50-11:50. Later, I have history from 1:10-2:10 and then chemistry from 2:20-3:20. I wish I could switch those two because I'm more likely to still be lively for history, but I plan on having my energizer snack during my ten minute break in between classes, so I should be fine, yeah?

After that class, I'm going to go to my room, change and then go to the gym for an hour and a half. After that is dinner, which will probably be a whole wheat wrap and a salad. And then it's off to ballroom dance GIMs (General Interest Meeting) to scope out a new partner. Tryouts are this weekend. Also this weekend are RA interviews, so hopefully I can get one of those. I'm having a busy week, but the good thing about this is that I'm moving a lot and eating a little. It's only for the best. I may post again later. I've been really hitting my mark with fluids the past few days, which I'm very proud of and now I'm going to get some activity in there. It feels so good to be back on track!!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Back on track.....

So, I'm back at school and with that, I'm back on track. Got up this morning at around 10:30, to a text from my old roommate asking me to come to breakfast. I love seeing her, so I got my butt up and we went. I have to guesstimate calories because I'm not making my own food, which means I'll have to experiment with my daily calorie allotment. So, for breakfast, I had..

1 slice WW bread (even though there were 2 on my plate, I didn't touch the other one...very proud): 75 calories
2 egg whites: 30 calories
1 slice American Cheese: 95 calories (note to self: no more cheese)
1 cup pineapple, diced: 100 calories
16 oz. of water
16 oz. tea with Splenda
So far: 300 calories, 32 oz. of water
Time: 12:30pm

So, I'm giving myself 900 more calories to spend and a goal of drinking 120 oz of fluids today. 88 more oz to go!

The gym here is under construction, so there's only a tiny room with some exercise machines for 10,000 or so students? I'm going to get to the gym at some point anyway, but I will really have to get creative this semester. It's freezing outside, but I may go for a run later. If not, I'll do an exercise DVD from Netflix.

Slacking

Slacking is not the word for what I've been doing. Starting right now, into tomorrow morning, I'm writing everything down again and blogging again. I don't think I've gained any weight (I don't know, because my scale says 185 but it's a different scale in a different city, so I'll just have to use this one as my measure from now on), but I haven't been very healthy. Now that I'm back in school and I'm going to be falling into some kind of routine, I have to get back to being healthy and really losing some weight. Because while I don't feel I've gained, there is no way I've lost and that's just not okay.

So here's to coming back from a serious slump and not starting over, but picking up right where I left off.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Weigh-In Results and Some Thoughts

Starting Weight: 220
Last Week's Weight: 184.2
This Week's Weight: 183.2

A 1 lb. loss! That is actually absolutely amazing. I cheated so much. Now, I know this is not a cue for me to start eating everything in sight and eating a lot, because I still wasn't healthy so it still wasn't good. But I am very glad that I lost a pound.

I had a good day back, but I am very sad about not seeing all of my new friends and the new boy that is in my life. He's 5 years older than me and doesn't have a cell phone or a facebook, but this boy sends me the sweetest emails. He's still in Florida, but he's coming back on Thursday, so I'm really looking forward to hopefully seeing him before I go back to school. The more we e-mail one another, the more I am interested in him. I can't say I like him, but I have more hope in a possible relationship with him than I have since my junior year of high school. And that was quite a while ago.

So, I'm having withdrawal from all my friends and also my best friends, one of whom is in India and one of whom is in Israel. One of them comes back January 14th, the other comes back January 17th and I miss them so much. But I will survive. I have to go shopping because of my nephew's birthday this weekend. Soooo sad, lol. Just kidding. I'm very excited to go dress shopping. And I'm glad I have an excuse.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Back from Florida!

I am finally back. I failed at blogging while I was there because I was SO SO SO busy. I can't even describe how incredible the trip was. Everyone kept saying how we were the kid's heroes. But honestly, those kids are my heroes. They know they are dying and they are constantly smiling and laughing and playing.

I think we've lost that magic...that hope that everything will be okay and that will to live. And that is a resolution I am making for the new year. Be more like a kid.

I had a great trip overall. I met a boy, I made PLENTY of new friends. I'm having withdrawal symptoms from the group, though. My bed feels very empty and I'm very bored.

Eating-wise...well....I did my best with what I had, you know? I can't say that I didn't cheat, because boy, DID I. But I'm back home and my priorities are set straight. I haven't gotten on the scale yet, but I am not nervous. I did what I did and all I can do now is learn from my mistake. I also walked a lot, so hopefully, that will help me. I'm going to downstairs and eat, because I haven't really done any of that today, due to the fact that I needed a 7 and a half hour nap (which is more sleep than I got ANY night on the trip, lol). Hope all is well with everyone. After my food, I'm going to go back upstairs and catch up on some blogs.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Off to the airport in 8 hours.

I've got a 6:55AM flight, which means I have to be at the airport at 5AM. Not exciting. I hope everyone had a good new year. Mine was good. I spent it with the family. I ate a lot at the party, but I didn't really eat at all before, so that wasn't a big deal. I've spent this entire day watching Skins and packing. I hate packing, but I LOVE Skins, lol.

So in case I didn't mention it before, I'm going to Florida to this place called "Give Kids the World" which is a place where children with terminal illnesses can go for free with their families, just for a week of fun to forget about everything. I'm going to volunteer there, with a group of strangers. Honestly, I'm not too nervous about eating, because I'm too shy to overeat in front of strangers. I'm going for a week, so for at least the first four or five days, my eating will be fine. I really don't eat that much, unless I'm alone, so note to self: don't be alone, lol.

Anyway, gotta go pack now. Can't do too much update. I am bringing my laptop to Florida with me, so if I have any extra time there, I will update. Have a good week, everyone.